I'm at my 8 1/2 month mark and can't believe how fast it's gone and what a wonderful experience it's been. I had no idea what Cambodia would be like, for those two rushed days in January when we were pressured to decide whether or not to move here, and the following weeks when I shivered in our Paris apartment trying to image the mysterious, warm, jungly country that would become my home. I feared the trailing spouse experience, picturing myself alone and isolated and jobless, I dreaded a somber culture burdened by the darkness of a recent bloody war and present rampant prostitution (notoriously involving children), I anticipated the dizzying heat of Cairo, and I dreamed of somehow getting by in English and avoiding taking on another language and alphabet.
I was incredibly, wonderfully wrong in so many ways. Thanks to many friends visiting, who encouraged me to get out and explore the country, and the luck of landing my dream job, I've gotten to experience places and personalities (and animals!) I never expected. I traveled around the west of Cambodia with Lindsey, east with Clementine, the south coast with Julie, and back again to the Angkor Wat ancient temple site in the northwest with Mathieu and his mom.
There are still days when I feel totally lost and utterly confused, and I run to my fellow expat friends for therapy, theories and understanding. The reserved culture is a blessing and a curse - All discussions and even arguments are usually conducted with an ear to ear grin, no matter how infuriating they get, which is either ingeniously therapeutic or crazy frustrating. In Cairo, everything is done screaming and laughing, sometimes at the same time. I can hear my friend Claire (in her 40s) saying how it was exhausting but necessary if you wanted to survive in Cairo, to be ready to light up or blow up at a second's notice. In Paris, the culture and language and way of life were much easier to grasp. The weather and people were colder, but there was warmth to be found from regular faces in my own neighborhood and networks of friends and acquaintances. Even strangers didn't seem that difficult to crack; the culture's just not as different from my own.
But in Phnom Penh, the sun is shining, the people are smiling, and the little city is bustling in its own relatively quiet way. Motorbikes weave through traffic and nearly cause accidents, they pause and sometimes glance at their almost victim, then without a word or any change of expression, continue along. I dare not say that there's no road rage here, but I have never once seen it. Things are so calm sometimes that it's almost eerie. How am I supposed to know if I've upset someone, if they just keep blinking and smiling either way?
I've been relying on some English speaking colleagues for retrospective explanations - mostly regarding interactions with my non-English speaking colleagues! My Khmer language skills are still limited to basic greetings, animal names, verbs like come, go, like, eat, want, how many guests we have on tour that day, and a few emotions that I actually can't keep straight. The nursery keeper said the baby monkey was scared, not strong, and the tiger keeper said the tiger wanted to kill me, not stay with me. Usually the guys laugh lightheartedly at my clumsy Khmer, then help to correct me.
I've got a very long way to go, but I'm contentedly counting my baby steps.
